did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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