Duck Duck Cougar?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Randomize