You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
