Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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