I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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