you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Randomize
