Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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