I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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