You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
