Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
