hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
