I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
