My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
