Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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