it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
i think i just lost a toe
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
