So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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