I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
