JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
