So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
