Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
