you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I understand Curling. That high.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
