just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
