If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
