just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I want her autograph on my taint
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
