i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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