Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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