Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
