my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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