called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
