Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
