they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
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