she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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