Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
