Where did you get a picture of my penis
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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