I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
