I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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