i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
whose ass print is on the piano?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
