There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
