i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
My day in three words: secret purse cake
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
