those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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