its not stalking. its research.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
