If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
