Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
a search helicopter?!
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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