you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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