I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
