All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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