dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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