God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
