she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
