Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
