Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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