if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
