But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
