Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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