so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
