i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
