I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
