M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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