hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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