You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
