He kissed a someone with a penis
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
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