i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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