i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
