This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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