I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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