i just wanna soil my oats bro
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm sobbing to NWA
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